I don’t know how else to say this, or even where to start,
but I have this nagging in my heart that won’t go away even with prayer; and
maybe what I am learning during this time of prayer is something I am supposed to be
sharing, for whatever reason God has.
Babies. My heart
aches for them. At least four were born of that I know this past week, and many
others are growing as their mothers wait patiently for them to arrive. I see
such joy in their faces (the babies, and well, the parents, too) and I rejoice
in these small hands and rooting mouths and stretching bodies unsure of what is
in store in this world that can be such a storm of blessings and hardships all
at once.
These babies are born, and I find myself all consumed
with desire that gets graciously put to sleep for short times in another
corner of my heart; and yet here it is: front and center. I dream of them, I
pray for them, I cry for them. I wonder if one (or more) will ever happen again
to me and my family. I wonder how it can be so easy for some, and impossible
for others. And then He tells me: “I was a baby, too. Some 2,000 years ago. I
came for you, to satisfy your heart, your every deep longing. I was a baby, for
you, and I am here right now.”
How strange, that
as my longing happens to be for a baby, I am to be preparing for One right now.
I suppose if He is The King of all kings, He must be The Baby of all babies,
and that thought makes me laugh. This baby, the Christ-child—He is everything I
need; in His infant form and otherwise. Whether I am sick or healthy, full or
needy, He is. He is what I need. And that is what Advent is teaching me in the
midst of my longing and tears. I am following a baby—straight to the manger,
and on to the cross. And I will get ready for this “new” baby in my life,
preparing my heart, by seeing Him in others, and being Him for others; by being
sorry when I need to, and letting go even if I don’t. And when He arrives (though let’s gratefully
face it, He already has) I will keep Him cradled in my heart so tenderly that
it may be changed again and again; renewed as many times over as it needs; and
be so full of “baby”, the most perfect baby of all, that I will want nothing
more than Him, and His plans for me.
There are only 8 days left until Christmas, and there is
only One Gift I am waiting for.
‘And behold, an angel of the Lord stood before them,
and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were greatly afraid. Then the angel said to them, "Do not be
afraid, for behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy which will be to all
people. For there is born to you this day in the
city of David a Savior, who is Christ the Lord. And this will be the sign to you: You will find
a Babe wrapped in swaddling cloths, lying in a manger." And suddenly there was with the angel a
multitude of the heavenly host praising God and saying:
"Glory
to God in the highest, And on earth peace, goodwill toward men!"
Luke 2:9-14
